Say no to dissatisfaction
Do you wonder why the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence?Most of us are dissatisfied with our lot. It’s human nature. We always find friends, relatives and colleagues, who are richer, better looking and more successful than us. Under-standing that people we envy also suffer from this dissatisfaction, as they find others—better than them—to feel envious of, helps us cope better with our own dissatisfaction. Whether life hands you stuff that you are anxious to get rid of, or you find yourself sitting on life’s sidelines, you are always longing for something more. The dilemma is always the same. How do we push ourselves when we need to move on? What holds us back? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of the unknown? Is it the fear of being unprepared? Is it the fear of making the wrong decision?
The explanation is within easy reach. We fear failure as one all-important reason: We are afraid of what others will think of us when we fail. Their opinion of us is more important to us than our opinion of ourselves. Self-confidence is a pre-requisite for success. We transfer our unconscious self-appraisal to others and they respond to us accordingly. Perhaps the best introduction to the quest for self-confidence is a look at its extreme opposite—general lack of confidence. It fills you with an all-pervading feeling of inadequacy. It leaves you with a negative approach.
We feel inferior, guilty, insecure and unloved. Not only big things but also little things put us in the wrong: We trip in an examination, we make a social blunder, and we dress inappropriately for an occasion.” Conscientious, capable men and women everywhere are being held back, are unable to do the best they can—all because they lack self-confidence. Build on your fundamental capabilities. These are the capability to learn, relate, act and re-invent yourself. Confidence comes from preparation. Preparation needs planning and practice. Pressure comes from being unprepared.
The key to harnessing your strength lies in competing only with yourself and not getting affected by others’ performance. High performers focus more intently on bettering their own previous efforts than on beating competitors. In fact, worrying about a competitor’s ability—and possible superiority—can often be self-defeating. Wondering about how other people are doing might discourage you and distract you from the most important task of all— improving your own performance. If you must compete, compete with your own potential. Trying your best and not succeeding is not failure. The real failure is in not even trying or trying but not giving it your best shot.
Do you wonder why the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence?Most of us are dissatisfied with our lot. It’s human nature. We always find friends, relatives and colleagues, who are richer, better looking and more successful than us. Under-standing that people we envy also suffer from this dissatisfaction, as they find others—better than them—to feel envious of, helps us cope better with our own dissatisfaction. Whether life hands you stuff that you are anxious to get rid of, or you find yourself sitting on life’s sidelines, you are always longing for something more. The dilemma is always the same. How do we push ourselves when we need to move on? What holds us back? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of the unknown? Is it the fear of being unprepared? Is it the fear of making the wrong decision?
The explanation is within easy reach. We fear failure as one all-important reason: We are afraid of what others will think of us when we fail. Their opinion of us is more important to us than our opinion of ourselves. Self-confidence is a pre-requisite for success. We transfer our unconscious self-appraisal to others and they respond to us accordingly. Perhaps the best introduction to the quest for self-confidence is a look at its extreme opposite—general lack of confidence. It fills you with an all-pervading feeling of inadequacy. It leaves you with a negative approach.
We feel inferior, guilty, insecure and unloved. Not only big things but also little things put us in the wrong: We trip in an examination, we make a social blunder, and we dress inappropriately for an occasion.” Conscientious, capable men and women everywhere are being held back, are unable to do the best they can—all because they lack self-confidence. Build on your fundamental capabilities. These are the capability to learn, relate, act and re-invent yourself. Confidence comes from preparation. Preparation needs planning and practice. Pressure comes from being unprepared.
The key to harnessing your strength lies in competing only with yourself and not getting affected by others’ performance. High performers focus more intently on bettering their own previous efforts than on beating competitors. In fact, worrying about a competitor’s ability—and possible superiority—can often be self-defeating. Wondering about how other people are doing might discourage you and distract you from the most important task of all— improving your own performance. If you must compete, compete with your own potential. Trying your best and not succeeding is not failure. The real failure is in not even trying or trying but not giving it your best shot.
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